Wedding

        When a man meets a girl and grows to like her, he puts metal chains around her neck, symbolizing his interest in marriage. News of this spreads quickly through the Bomas, and the girls parents await the arrival of the man to declare his intentions openly. In the meantime, the man will obtain some locally grown honey, which he will bring to his mother. She and another woman of his clan take this honey, together with some milk, to the home of the girls parents. This gift of honey represents the requests of marriage (known as esiret e nkoshoke -honey to mark the stomach). It is not brewed into beer, but is instead to be shared by the women of the brides household. At a later time before the marriage, a greater quantity of honey is supplied and once again carried with milk to the home of the girls parent. This honey (called enkiroret, honey for the brides discussion) is brewed into beer.

The father of the bride then invites his relatives and the other elders of his generation to come together to discuss over the honey beer the merits of the proposed marriage and the related future. When the beer has finished, the man who has declared his desire for marriage is summoned to the gathering and informed by the group whether his proposal is acceptable or not. If it has been accepted, the future best man and the brides family begin a long and close relation. If, on the other hand the proposal has been rejected, the entire matter is forgotten and the future best man does not attempt to recover the cost of the honey gift (enkiroret). Any other gifts he has given to the family, such as goats or sheep, will, however, be returned to him. There is a third form of wedding proposal practice in Maasai culture in which one young man may decide to take another mans sister as his wife and, in return, gives his own sister to be married to that man.

         No matter what method of wedding proposal is followed, after the girls family accepts the proposed husband, the future best man gives them as many gifts as can be afforded. As the gifts are accepted, they go to make up her required dowry, and are also assurances to the future best man that no other man may try to marry the girl.

         The dowry is more a means to legalize the marriage than to bring in wealth. The traditional dowry is five animals and three articles: two heifers, one steer, one ram, one ewe, tobacco, honey, and two sheepskins (counted as one). One of the heifers, must be given by the future best man to the girls father, and thereafter they will call the other cows, (pakiteng or entawuo) in remembrance of the initial gift. The young man gives the ewe to the girls mother, and they will likewise greet each other with the word ewe (paker). The ram is slaughtered and some of its fat is mixed with ocher to be used for body paint in the coming ceremonies. The rest is put into a container, which the bride carries with her on herback to her new home. The two sheepskins are given to the girls mother, who will make a dress from them. Some clans allow the couple to marry before the total dowry is paid, while others will not let their daughters leave until it has been entirely paid.

         As the time for the wedding approaches, the bride is usually advised by her parents how to behave towards her husband. She is told, From now on you leave the comfort of your own family. You will no longer be treated as a baby. You are now a person to be relied on, and we expect you to give rather than to receive. You must respect your husband and follow as he dictates. If you dont he will beat you, and we give him that permission. Dont run home each time you have a disagreement with your husband unless the situation is serious and you really think you have been mistreated. In return, the girls mother tells the husband-to-be how to treat her daughter and what her temperament is like. Her father gives him the advice, Take my daughter, and treat her fairly. Dont let her come running home complaining of your mistreatment. It will be difficult to get her back.

Honeymoon Package
A Maasai wedding is very colorful. The bride wears a long garment made of the softest and most beautifully tanned sheepskin. Around and edges and center of the wedding garment, the mother of the bride is adorned with many bead necklaces, the most magnificent of all being the entente, which is a wedding necklace made of long, straight links of beads reaching to the knees. Rich families buy expensive silver wire to be coiled like stockings around the brides legs. This decoration is called olkiteng. Everything worn by the bride must be new and shiny with much ocher.

         The actual marriage ceremony is simple. The brides head is shaved and anointed with lamb fat, and bands of beautiful beadwork are placed on her head, shoulders, her ears and entire clothing. The bride and groom are both blessed and washed with milk, and green grass is tied onto their shoes and clothes. As the wedding progresses, the brides father, his age-mates share the honey beer brewed from the future best mans previous gift with all members of the party - including the attentive young children. As the brides mother and the other community women lead the bride outside the Bomas, the bride will be crying as a demonstration that she is sad to be leaving her family. She is warned not to look back towards her family Bomas until she has reached her husbands place; for it is believed that if she does she will turn into stone out grief for what is she is leaving behind. When the escorting women return to their Bomas, the bride is left walking very, very slowly with her new husband and the best man, who clears her path by removing any sticks or thorns that that might be in her way. If there is a river to be crossed, the best man will be the one to lift her across.

         Before she will talk to her husband or enter his Bomas or his family; house the bride must receive gifts. Each member of her new family, her husbands father, mother, brother, sister, and even friends, gives her a present of livestock.

         The wealth of gifts she receives depends on the wealth of the grooms family. When she is satisfied, she enters her new house, which at first is the house of her husbands mother. For two days, her head will not be shaved by her husband, sleep with her husband or will her husband eat food from the house she is staying in. Later on, the new bride will build a house of her own with the assistance of the other ladies in the Bomas.